Why Does God Hate Me?

Thursday, November 23, 2006

Or, to be more accurate, why did Logan have to use me as bait for small time scum while he went and got the needed information? I shouldn't complain though. These low-life's were pretty weak, which meant that we were able to get information without actually risking our lives. That doesn't happen often.

The Wein Claremont warehouse? No problem. In return for the whole distraction thing, I swung ahead and lazed around in civilian dress till Logan got there, which took a while. I hadn't given him the right directions after all. Hehe...

Logan only grinned when he finally arrived though, and he wouldn't tell me why. "T'ain't yer business, Web-Head." was all he said.

"Fine." I retorted, "We have other problems to worry 'bout." I jerked my thumb toward the warehouse.

"Stealth mode or just bust'em up?" asked Logan.

"Whatever suits you best."


Naturally, tearing through the door with his claws is what suited Logan best. It wasn't too bad though. There were only four copies of me. One was the guy Logan had faced, one was still in "production" and the other two were failed versions who had never been let out of the building.

Naturally, they all attacked us at once. I almost wished they were actual clones, 'cause then they would have put up a decent fight. Logan went after the one who had stung him, and gave him a piece of his mind, er, claws... he took care of the first failed experiment too.

That left me with Still-in Production and Second-Failed-Try. Too easy. I gave the early experiment a taste of my real stingers, and webbed the unfinished on in place. Then I glocked him.

That left the scientist. He gave up quick. Logan went to interrogate him with some help from his claws, but I held him back.

"Just tell us who and why." I said.

posted by Spider-Man at 12:11 PM 5 comments

Stuck with the smelly, hairy guy...

Thursday, November 16, 2006

Fury's been acting a little weird recently... Normally he wants to know everything that's going on, but when Logan and I went to see him, he practically shoved us out the door. Anyways, I made a routine check for tracking devices. My new and improved spider-sense should always be able to find these things, but it never hurts to check.

Another odd thing, they usually put at least three bugs on me. I usually let them, of course, but remove them immediately afterwards. This time, there were none. Very odd.

Logan and I stood on the street corner, thinking. I broke the silence:

"No bugs?"


"Me neither... and it just occurred to me that we don't have a single lead for this chase. Think we should go back and check with Fury? No.. bad idea."

"No kiddin', he's way off t' deep end or somethin'."

Silence ensued.

I tried again, "Let's review everything that we know about these guys. I've brought a few in, the earlier ones were pretty weak. The polymer they use to imitate my webbing is close, but not the same stuff. The most recent one, the one you encountered, uses metal stingers.
It's funny that, knowing all of this, Fury suggested clones..."

"Yeh, I don't get it either, he's just been strange lately. Well, there's not much more I can add to all your info, except that the guy's poison works real well. That, and whoever can create all this stuff hasta' be have money."

"So, in short, we're looking for a rich bastard who likes copying superheroes..." I concluded. "As Angus would say: bloody perfect."

posted by Spider-Man at 2:29 PM 2 comments

The End of a Party

Friday, November 10, 2006

So MJ and I sat and watched all the fun. We watched Justice get swept off her feet, and Hotstuff too. Angus lost and regained his girlfriend, and several fights broke out in the meantime. The joys of partying with meta-humans.

At the end of it all, even after Wolfgang had finished cleaning, and Pan and Angus went to their respective homes, we sat in a corner and talked. It felt good.

MJ was feeling romantic. "Wasn't it great to see all those couples in love?"

I laughed, "And some not so in love. But yeah, some were fun to watch, even inspirational. Like that Romanova chick and fury, Justice and the party crasher, even Scott and Carol."

MJ smiled slyly, "Danny and Remy..."

I jerked involuntarily and she laughed. After a moment, I chuckled as well. "Yeah, it was good to see them all."

"You know what though, Honey?" I asked, "Logan told me there was some kind of fake Spiderman running around. What's that about?"

There was no response. I looked down at MJ. She was asleep.

"It doesn't matter now." I whispered softly, "it's all good."

I picked up MJ, and carried her home.

posted by Spider-Man at 1:08 PM 1 comments

The Invitation

Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Well, I finally got the invitations printed up. Post them on your blog if you're coming to the party!

posted by Spider-Man at 1:08 PM 8 comments

I'm Back, Baby! Come to My Party!

Sunday, October 22, 2006

The vacation was great. Aunt May shopped and cooked. MJ and I made up for lost time. We went to the beach. The fact that Angus owns the hotel we stayed in made for a nice side benefit. I was wondering how a kid like him keeps all this stuff he owns going anyway, so I looked into it.

Turns out that David Carson (Angus' late father's lawyer) runs it for him, but all the proceeds go to Angus. All of them... Carson ain't cheating, I looked into it. Anyways, with the business taken care of till he's old enough, Angus can roam happy and free, chase super villains, etc.

Anyways, they finally announced the official end of the war. I called Angus at the X-Mansion and we talked about celebrating. Then, it came to Angus like a bright ray of sunshine:

"I be going to invite everyone to the party."

"Everyone who?"

"Everyone... I mean, all of the superheroes involved in the Civil War. Maybe even some villains, if they promise not to fight."

"Eh, I'm not so sure about the villains part, but I think it's a great idea." I replied, "We'd have to hire people though... you know, to help?"

"Ya mean a decorator, a caterer, a DJ, and a live band."

"Yeah, you would know all about that, I guess. You must have been to quite a few parties with yo..."


"Ya do na' have to worry about mentioning me father. Being here at the X-Mansion has healed me in more ways than one."

"Yeah, okay."

A few pleasantries, and the call was over. "Healed in more way than one?" I wonder what he meat by that.

posted by Spider-Man at 5:43 PM 9 comments


Tuesday, October 17, 2006

With all my old bad guys in jail, the Civil War basically over, and Kingpin recovering from a public hell-wedgie session, I have decided to take a vacation. You will not be left alone, however. Fade will be giving you periodic updates from the X-Mansion while MJ, Aunt May and I go to Hawaii.

Also, there's been a Spiderman wannabe running aroud: go laugh at him.

posted by Spider-Man at 4:04 PM 2 comments


Thursday, October 12, 2006

He aimed his piece at me.

"Kingpin said you'd be coming."

I jumped to avoid the first volley of bullets. "A double cross. The Oh-So-Original double cross. Sometime I oughtta double cross someone just to see if it's as fun as it looks."

Now, I could have just up and left. I could have given Wilson Fisk a hundred wedgies, then gone home to spend time with the wife. But with great power must come trying to keep your word even when you've been double crossed and there are people shooting at you.

Life sucks. It's also complicated. But every now and then, there's a relatively simple solution to your current problem, if you look hard enough.

I covered all of Hammerhead's men in webs till they couldn't move an inch. Then I pulled Hammerhead's gun from his hand, wrapped him in a ball of webbing, and gave him quick transport to the Vault.

I was in a bad mood, so I threw him over the wall, instead of leaving him at the gate. He'll survive it.


"Well I kept my word (even though you tried that low little trick) and now I want my pay."

Wilson Fisk smiled, and took another bite of his lunch.

"And by the way," I continued, "You are never gonna lose weight if you keep eating like that."

This time he scowled. "Look, I admit, it would have been more convenient if Hammerhead had offed ya, but I am a man of my word. Consider SHIELD as one less thing to worry about, though sources say the war is over already..."



"I made a stupid mistake, you know." I confessed.

Angus was lying on a bed in the infirmary in the X-Mansion. "Me too." was all he said.

"Well let's see if you can top mine." I said. "I made a deal with the Kingpin. I threw one of his (criminal) enemies in jail, in return for getting SHIELD off my back. It's not technically wrong, but I still feel stupid. He warned Hammerhead I was coming. I beat the guy anyway, but it turned out I didn't need to. The war is over."

He sat up, with some effort. "Well I can top it. Pan and I were attacked. They had her down, threatened to kill her. I lost control. I made them feel pain, like I did with Ock. I enjoyed it. Then I killed three of them."

My jaw dropped, and I sat back in my chair heavily. "Wow."

"Look, I know how ya feel about killing people. I canna' say it was completely an accident, so..."

"Say no more." I sighed. "You just have to get better control of yourself. And if you can't, well, Wolverine kills people too. As long as it makes you feel bad, there's hope for you."

We both smiled in a sad way. I cleared my throat. "Anyways, you can tell me all about who those people were, and why you killed them later. I'm gonna check with Beast as to your condition."


"Peter Parker, it's good to see you again."

"I could say the same, Hank." The Beast and I had some pretty interesting scientific discussions in the past.


Me: Storm is hot.

Beast: True, but she's sensitive. My favorite is Jean Grey...

Me: Talk about sensitive, Jean Grey goes homicidal whenever Scott pisses her off.


"So how's Angus?" I asked.

"He's doing very well, actually. You could say that whatever keeps him alive and gives him his powers also makes him very hard to kill. The bullets only entered his body partway.

"Unfortunately, his recovery abilities seem to be slower than most people's. I would like to keep him here for his recovery, if that's alright with you. The only issue is, he wants to get back to crime fighting yesterday."

"Tell him that he's to stay here until he has completely recovered. I'll manage New York without him until that time."

I just hope he doesn't get into too much trouble here.

posted by Spider-Man at 11:39 AM 4 comments